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This Is All (feat. Undogmatic)

from Committed by Mental Devil Slayer

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lyrics

So tell me, this is all?
I came here and got less but I expected more
Is this it? Is this the gift that I’ve been waiting for?
Is this the only the treasure that’s buried beyond the door?...

I know there’s more here, I was patient and waited a couple of more years
Blood, sweat, energy and tears
Now I stand here... in disbelief that I waited…
Cause now I see the fruit of my labor is not the greatest…
I feel that my beautiful palace has dissipated…
And my reward’s not exactly what I anticipated…
I know that... things change
But to get here… I persevered physical pain…
Had to play psychological games endured strain
When the stress became trauma, I prayed to stay calmer…
Resorted to the spiritual plane to stay at ease
Not for greed and... not only during times of need
I remained humble, and my ethics were all pervasive…
Respectful, followed the rules no violations
Seeing what’s before me, is this the conclusion to my story?
There’s got to be more to it… there’s got to be more…

So tell me, this is all? I came here and got less but I expected more
Is this it? Is this the gift that I’ve been waiting for?
Is this the only the treasure that’s buried beyond the door?…

I dreamt of this moment but to live it is a nightmare
The riches I envisioned to be, are not here
But I have one question for you; listen hear
How would you feel if what you lived for was not there?
If every ambition, and every aspiration
Never happened and you never really did achieve your dream
And you worked so diligent to see yourself make it
And you’ve been through it all with your scars as proof…
That’s how I feel right now… incapacitated
I need to find purpose… I’m feeling quite worthless
I felt like a better life awaited… I hoped it would arrive
But I see that my ride never came
Where’s the yellow pavement?... Who can give me what I need
Feeling lifeless, I’m asking for encouragement to breath
Feeling off balance, I need a hand just to lead
To the point that I can understand this, I can’t believe what I’m seeing…

So tell me, this is all? I came here and got less but I expected more
Is this it? Is this the gift that I’ve been waiting for?
Is this the only the treasure that’s buried beyond the door?(2x)…

As the tears flow down from my face I try to hide it
Had to use the collar of my shirt just to wipe it
A mix of emotion… anger, sadness
Sanity and madness, falling into fragments
It’s tough to swallow that I’m at the end of the road
At the very place that I envisioned the goal
But… can’t believe that this is all
Is this what I’ve waited for, I desired more
Look at me, see the pain it took for me to get this…
This gift is a curse but I expected a blessing…
All of those that gave me support, time and effort…
They wished me the best and to them I am indebted…
But, how I do pay… and what do I say
When I come back with this... this is not sufficient…
I’m debating if it’s… even worth mentioned
That I went through hell to get here and traveled all the distance
When all I have to show are emotional scars
From struggling for so long, many things are gone
Since I sacrificed a lot of things that I considered worthless
But in my hindsight I am questioning every purpose… it wasn’t even worth it…

So tell me, this is all? I came here and got less but I expected more
Is this it? Is this the gift that I’ve been waiting for?
Is this the only the treasure that’s buried beyond the door?…

credits

from Committed, released November 29, 2014

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